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Another Opportunity for Salvation

February 3, 2008
Please skip the post below if your faith is shaky or you feel that you must save every soul that either does not believe at all or that does not believe as you do.  This is a personal rant on a public blog.  Comments are moderated and if you feel compelled to comment, go for it.  No guarantee it will show up, but it probably will just because, unless you are a spammer.

Let’s see, I have a problem with a man that is supposed to have saved me from all my sins already.  He is supposed to be my pathway, my only available pathway back to the God that formed me in his image.  I have to accept him to get to God.  God thought that would be easier on me?  God thought it was best that he send a son to save the world if only the world would accept him?

Yep, I have a problem.  I don’t look at the son of God and see my saviour.  I see a man, a man that enjoyed good food and wine.  I see a man that worked hard for an earthly father for many, many years, first as an apprentice, then as joiner and finally as a master carpenter.  I see a man that walked, a lot and he walked on water, but let’s not go there just yet.

God sent this man and this man was meant to die for our sins and to provide us everlasting life through our acceptance of him.  Do I have this right?  I mean, scientifically God was the first to do an invitro fertilization.  He didn’t have to use hospital equipment and long needles and painful insertions, he did after all form the woman’s body he chose to use.  That is where my first issue comes up.

It’s not an issue with the mother of this man that I am supposed to give my life to.  Nope that’s not my problem either.  She, meaning Mary could have been stubborn and said, “Hey Arch Angel, would you give God this message for me? No, I don’t believe I want to carry his son.  No, I am not really feeling up to this little thing he’s got going on.  I’m not even married and He wants it to be ok that I bear a child out of wedlock or before I’ve been married the prerequisite amount of time to have consummated my marriage with Joseph.  Nope, not interested, but hey thanks for asking, thanks for giving me a choice.”

So I am supposed to give my life over to someone that was human just like me, made in the image of God, hmm simulacra anyone, and I am meant to turn my life over to him and no longer have choices except to follow and be obedient and humble and subservient and …THIS is someone that bled just like I bleed.  He had great knowledge and wisdom and strength and I am certain a pleasing personality or people would not have followed him but….

I am hesitant to believe that my only way to God is through him.  I guess I’m not the only one and I’ve already heard that I will die and be sentenced to the firey confines of hell.  It’s a scary proposition and maybe just maybe I will accept this man into my heart and then bank on faith of the truth of the word as translated by other men from the original words, through how many translations exactly, to the words I read in the KJ version of the bible now.

Does that scare me, yeah about as much as it scares me to not remember most of my childhood.

“Except ye be converted, and BECOME AS LITTLE CHILDREN, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven”  (Matthew 18:3 ).

So as it stands, I do have a problem.  I don’t think a man can save me and I don’t think I need a man to have a relationship with God.  Yep, according to the Christian faith, I’d say I’m in trouble here.

I honestly don’t know that I want to be converted and have a relationship with the God that had this entire thing planned for my life before I was even conceived of in my mother’s womb.

That’s the scariest thing of them all.  Oh yeah also if I am to believe the new age spiritual ruminations, then I accepted the burden of my m0lest@ti0n before manifesting in physical form.  I was complicit and willing to return to earth from the universal force because I wanted to learn a specific lesson and had to go through multiple years of misuse, abuse, misplaced trust, maligned truths, invisibility and finally total mental surrender of a childhood to learn it.  I agreed to this before I became manifest?  Did I know all that then, when I agreed?  It seems I would because that was the plan from the beginning, right?

Did you know this entire rant started because my grandmother asked me to order some books for her from a website? Yep  She wanted the prayer books.  I ordered them and started poking around like I do and all the above just fell out.

The one thing I am certain of, is my faith is as confused and twisted as my childhood.  I also am wise enough to know that the amount of resistance I found within myself while reading the above website, makes it certain that I need to pay attention.

The choice though still remains with me.

What would you do?


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