“Sneaky Puritan Test of Your Motivation”

I love that line from page 21 of  “Wishcraft”.

That’s pretty much how I view the hardships that show up, as a test of my will and motivation.

I try to power through them, which usually means I get stuck in them, like a car with no traction in the mud.  Then I find myself trying to ‘rock’ myself out of the stuck place and usually make the rut that much more unnavigable.

If  I really wanted this ‘dream’ then I should have the ingenuity and guts to go find out what it takes to make it come true.  Yep, that’s when I start shoulding on myself.  I’m already messy from getting stuck and I start beating up on myself and my dream.

Here’s what I tell myself.  Do any of these ‘excuses’ ring true for you?

• I don’t deserve this anyway.
• I wouldn’t have been any good.
• I don’t care about this anymore.
• This is going to take too long.
• I suck at doing all of this.
• I have zero experience.
• Achieving the dream will take all my time and I’ll never get married or have a relationship.
• I can’t do everything I want to do, so I just won’t do anything.
• I’d never finish anyway.
• I’m useless.
• This isn’t really my dream.
• I have no confidence.
• I have no money.
• I have no support.

That’s about one quarter of my “This is why this cannot be done by me” list.

In Chapter 5 of” WishCraft”, Barbara suggests starting a Hard Times Notebook in which we complain and write down ALL the complaints to the bitter sweet end of complaining.  I did it once.

We are also advised to keep an Actions & Feelings Journal in which we write what we did, talk about how we felt and date the top of each page.  I never did this.

I’m stubborn, so it’s probably not hard for you to guess where I’ve been stuck for the last 8 months or so.  Yeah. Exactly.

I’m also a little scared to move forward, what if I’m wrong?  Or worse what if I’m right?

Staying right where I am is only going to get messier, less inviting and more painful.  I understand now that the Actions & Feelings Journal along with the Hard Times notebook are a map of where I am in the moment.  Only after I’ve maintained them can I see where I’ve been.

“We think that accomplishment only comes from great deeds. . . Great deeds are made up of small, steady actions, and it is these that you must learn to value and sustain.” Wishcraft pg. 106

I sincerely want to live my dream.  I sincerely want you to do the same.  Wishcraft will help us.